As a business owner, I can personally tell you that owning a business is not always rainbows and butterflies. There will be days when you’ll have an internal monologue about boundaries, unfavorable scenarios, and even ethics. This is especially true for those who are introverts, like myself.
Confronting the Uncomfortable
I write this piece in the wake of something that happened to me a few months back, when I had to confront a situation with a colleague. There was an ethical issue involved in which I believed I was wronged. I had to make a choice: let it go or confront her. In the end, I chose to confront her. I decided to do this because I wanted to make her a better wedding planner.
You can’t change what you don’t confront.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Faced with the prospect of unwanted confrontation, we’ll often try to talk ourselves out of it. “Confronting matters only makes things worse.” “Confronting someone is not worth the emotional toll.” “Confronting someone does more harm than good.” “After confronting someone, the relationship is doomed.”
Why This Is Silly
Confronting someone who you believe has acted in a way that needs to be addressed is one of the hardest decisions you’ll need to make in business. And it is one I don’t take lightly. There is so much emotional baggage that goes along with it. But if you don’t confront that person, things will never change—the relations will never change. Maybe it’s a client who is pushing the boundaries. Maybe it’s a colleague who has stolen a client, or maybe it’s a vendor who disrespected you in a public way. If you decide to let it go, then you really have to let it go. You can’t stew on the words or actions that affected you so, or grit your teeth when thinking about it. If you can’t truly let it go, then you need to confront the person.
Changing Your Mindset
By comforting those bad actions, you are allowing yourself to grow as a business owner. You are taking control of a situation that has soured and you are turning it into a learning experience. You will be respected more because of it—or at least make others think twice before attempting to wrong you in the future. And it could actually make a stronger relationship. The relationships that have been challenged in life are usually the ones that last the longest.